20 'So Bad That They're Good' Dad Jokes
The Most Cringe-worthy, Gut-busting, Hilarious Dad Jokes... Ever!
You may cringe, wish to bang your head against a wall, or projectile vomit when you hear a terrible Dad joke, but it seems that Dad jokes are here to stay. Dad jokes are the pun-tastic play on words that involve the kind of finesse that only comes from years of delivering jokes to an unsympathetic audience. The best thing is, you don’t even have to be a father to make Dad jokes. That’s the beauty of this timeless craft. I tell Dad jokes all the time, and I don’t have any kids. I guess you could say I’m a faux pas (ba dum tss). From “This eye pun cannot get any cornea” to “When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble”, Dad jokes have a way of perking up the unperkable. Too lame for some and not lame enough for others, Dad jokes will always be in the arsenal of people with a bright wit and an I-don’t-care-if-you-judge-me attitude. Without further ado, here are some of the most cringe-worthy, gut-busting, hilarious Dad jokes… EVER!
Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pen.
Did you hear the rumour going around about butter?
Never mind. I shouldn’t spread it.
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse.
A guy threw a litre of milk at my head…
Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed.
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
He was outstanding in his field!
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
Why did the salad go to the studio?
To get some beets.
I’m pretty sad. I burned my Hawaiian pizza today…
I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
6:30 is the best time on the clock…
What did the grape say when it was crushed?
Nothing. It just let out a little wine.
Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?
The food is great but there’s no atmosphere.
What did the nut say when he was running down the road?
I’m gonna cashew.
What’s the best Christmas present you can get someone?
A broken drum… You can’t beat it.
I tried to change my password to “beefstew1”…
But it wasn’t stroganoff.
A steak pun is…
A rare medium well done.
What did the pen say to the paper?
I dot my i’s on you.
Don’t trust atoms...
They make up everything.
Parallel lines have so much in common…
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
OMG, so many LOL’s! Seriously, there’s nothing quite like a Dad joke. The world is a brighter place with this cheesy, lame, and eye-rolling kind of humour. I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, Dad jokes are not for the faint of heart. You must commit to the perfect delivery, but if you get it right, you’ll win over your kids, your friends and even gain the admiration of your father. In fact, when I do tell Dad jokes, he often laughs… ;
About the Author
If I’m not writing about what sets my heart on fire, you can find me lying under a tree reading a book, running with my German Shepherd Nika, or doing everything I can to avoid getting a dad-bod! Life is an amazing adventure and I think it is incredibly important not to take ourselves too seriously. I am passionate about connecting with people and through the use of my words, I hope to put smiles on faces and warmth in hearts.